Expectations, as One Travels

I love the transitioning…the journey of getting to that new place and living in all the possibilities.  I look forward to the newness of everything – the experiences a new place, people, culture, food, and whatever may come to me.  It ignites a profound sense of joy and freedom.

I often stay in an area for a few months, usually doing a house/pet sit.  I do a bit of research to get a feel for the place, to see if it is a place where I want to invest time and money. Sometimes a picture (expectations) is formed by this research and from the homeowner’s description which is not necessarily the reality.

For example, I was heading to Vieques Island, Puerto Rico after being on the Big Island of Hawaii for 6 months.  I was so excited to be going to a Spanish-speaking environment in the Caribbean.  Websites and the homeowner’s description of Vieques Island led me to imagine an almost perfect place.  I was bursting with anticipation and excitement!

The homeowners picked me up from the airport, and gave me a quick tour of the island (yes, it is that small).  I had to hide my shock.  I needed to readjust my thinking.  Reality did not match the picture in my mind.  I erased that canvas and had to begin anew.

The ‘Spanish neighborhood’ that they used to describe the location of their home really meant the poverty section, where there was high drug activity.  Potholes consumed the narrow streets.  The town, which was probably photographed years earlier, was in need of severe  renovations.  The beaches were in need of some attention and care.

Being laid-back, as many islands are, there was no consistency with anything.  Ferries ran, sometimes, whenever. Business were open, whenever.  To see a doctor often took days of waiting at a clinic.  I know that I am spoiled with my previous experience in Boston (US), which has great medical care and not every place in the States can measure up to it.  So, I took this with much more ease than I did with the ferry not running due to…???  Never an explanation.  Unfortunately, this lack of consistency with the ferry caused a delay in dental care which resulted in a serious and ongoing dental problem.

Ahhh…paradise….or so I thought.

Expectations…I had to let them go.  I learned to do my research to make a decision, but to let go of everything else.  And, I have learned that the people who are describing their place of residence are speaking/viewing it from their own lens.  Perspective…theirs and mine, not always the same.  Now, I listen differently when I am researching.

When I changed my perspective, I could see the beauty of Vieques and the rest fell away into the ‘this is their way’ pile that sometimes aggravated me, but mostly it gave me a sense of appreciation for what I had in the US.  And, it gave me stories, that I can now tell with laughter.

Letting go of any expectations, allows me to adjust to the differences easily, which actually allows me to enjoy the experiences from the get go.  Awareness of what I am accustom to and how it may impact my view is key.   I can’t let go of my experiences.  They are a part of me and I may be viewing from that particular lens.  I am aware.  I travel with the intention and purpose of exploring new places, learning about other cultures, lifestyles, and,  it is a way that I am coming to know me.  I don’t want expectations to ever ruin the travel experience for me.

The only expectation that I can hold on to is that I can and will create a magnificent experience no matter where I am.

What do you do?  Do you have expectations as you travel and how do you handle the unexpectedness of a situation?  Or, do you already have the ability to ‘go with the flow’?

Traveling Lightly…My Beginnings

Boston Skyline by Arvind Balaraman

For years, I was like many people, living in the traditional paradigm – going to work, socializing with friends, romantic relationships coming and going, collecting stuff, etc., etc.  In many ways, it felt good.  Teaching Deaf children was my passion.  I loved living in Boston.  I had wonderful supportive friends.  My home, an apartment just outside of Boston, was a perfect size for me, in a good place.  Yet, simultaneously, I was a free-spirit.  I loved traveling and going on the open road.  There is something about this movement which adds lightness to my life.

“Traveling Lightly” physically and metaphorically – what I strive to do, to be, and in spirit – a free spirit.  After being in New England (US) for most of my life, until my 40s, something changed.  I felt sluggish, bogged down, and life became about survival.  I had gained weight, which added to my overall state of being.  I no longer walked with a lightness even while doing things that I loved.  My energy and stamina seemed to be draining from me.

Photo by dan

For years, I did my personal growth work, being on a spiritual path.  I am eclectic in my beliefs and practices – non-religious, but spiritual.  However, I was not feeling the lightness that comes with being spiritual.  And all of my practices no longer had the same effect.  This ‘heaviness’ and being in survival mode was my rock bottom.  Change was eminent.

Becoming debt free was my first step.  I spent the last two years of my time as a teacher of the Deaf in Boston, getting rid of my debt and saving for my travels.  I celebrated with my long-time  Boston friends when I paid off the last of my car and credit cards.  Ahhh…a burden was lifted…lightness was re-emerging.

I purged my belongings.  I got rid of my apartment.  I lent my car to my brother.  I packed a suitcase, a carry-on and a personal bag (backpack).  I thought I was traveling lightly until I got out of my friend’s car at the airport and had to manage all three bags.  At the counter, when they wanted to charge me an overweight baggage fee I realized that I certainly wasn’t traveling lightly.  I purged at the airport.  I purged two weeks later in Hawaii.  By the end of my 6-month stay on Hawaii, I was traveling lightly, somewhat.  I was down to a suitcase and a backpack.

It is now a few years later, and when I have more than a carry-on and a backpack I feel heavy.  I want to purge, toss, give away whatever I am not using.  Right now I am in a colder climate so I have warmer clothes which weigh me down.  I am looking forward to being in a warmer climate – I will purge again.  Lightness is my goal, physically with my baggage, my being and my spirit.  This is what traveling does for me, even while dreaming of the places where I’ll go next.  Someday…just a backpack would be great…but for now…I’m good with two smaller bags.

I think the key to traveling lightly is that one must have a profound belief that whatever one needs will come to you.  I found this out in Hawaii as I had purged many of my things.  When I thought or said out loud that I was in need of something, magically it would appear.  Magically?  How?  I would run across someone who was going to toss theirs, or at the retreat place where I was doing a work-exchange, it would appear in the donation box..or I would get the money, unexpectedly, and I could afford to buy it.  ‘Whatever I need comes to me’ was reinforced during my first year of nomadic travels.

It is a profound trust in the Universe, that I will always be taken care of and I don’t need to lug things that I may potentially need in the future.  When I need it, it will come.  It can be a struggle at times, when fear creeps in, but ultimately, I know.  Letting go of that material thing is not always automatic.  The inclination is to hold on to it…maybe I’ll need it.  Yet, I experienced this manifestation of things, and, I watched countless others, nomads, who believed in the same phenomena.  They too would have things ‘magically’ appear when they needed something.  I am exhilarated by this fact, that we are taken care of – we can surrender to it.  This allows me to be able to travel lightly.  I can let go of those things I am not using, and don’t see the need for in the foreseeable future.

One of my Traveling Lightly Logos, available on products at Zazzle, Printfection and CafePress, if you're interested.

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House-sitting…the upside and down….

I house-sit and pet-sit in various locations which allows me to travel, with a limited budget.  There is an upside and a down to this approach to traveling.  First, I am grateful for each house/pet sit.  I have gotten attached to every animal whom I have had the pleasure to care for.  And, I am appreciative of those  homeowners who have entrusted their pets and home to me…so I say with deep profound sincerity that no matter the downside of any experience, the upside is the joy in taking care of their pets, and the experience that I had living in their home.

Violet, Gus, and Sammy who loved sunning themselves on my coat.

The positives:

The joy of being with animals, taking care of them without actually having the responsibility of having my own pets is a big positive for me.  So scattered in this post are some of the great animals whom I got to know and love.

Traveling can get expensive so having a home to stay in gives me the freedom to be in places that I may not be able to stay for longer periods of time.  I like my privacy and staying in hostels, in a shared dorm room, is not my preference, although I have done it plenty of times.  House-sitting gives me that privacy.

The opportunity to meet new homeowners who usually introduce me to their friends, making it easy to feel connected to the community and culture.  There is usually instant support, if I am looking for that in my new place.

A car is often provided, which elevates the transportation issues since I travel without my car, usually.  Yet, as long as I have access to public transportation or if it is a walking community, I am fine if a car is not provided.

Sometimes, a stipend is offered, which makes me feel quite appreciated, that they recognize and support my service and commitment to taking care of their property and animals.  It doesn’t change the quality of care that I offer, but it certainly is beneficial to receive  a monetary compensation.

Angel, who really was an angel to have as a pet sit.

The not so positive:

It is a challenge for many homeowners to have trust that this stranger, whom they’ve chosen, yet doubting the house-sitter’s intention to care for their home and pets with respect.  I find myself going above and beyond to help them gain trust.  It is understandable.  They don’t know me.  I know me, and, I know my work ethic, integrity and respect for someone else’s things and animals.  The negative is that sometimes a long time is required to gain that trust.

I’ve had homeowners who regularly sent ‘spies’ to check me out,  to see how I was caring for their animals and property.  In the beginning, I understand, even expect it.  But then after a few months, it feels unpleasant when someone is constantly second guessing you, and to not be trusted.  One homeowner asked me for a $2000 deposit for when I broke something – I opted out of this scenario.

Yet, I’ve had experiences with owners who use their gut and intuitively know that they have chosen someone trustworthy…these kinds of people are ones whom I am hoping to experience more so.  The ‘slow to trust’ ones can make it an uncomfortable situation.

Tito and Crystal...very lovable!

A homeowner often feels as though they have the right to control every aspect of your time there – dictating how much time you need to stay in the house, how to clean their home, if  visitors are allowed or not, etc., etc.  To some extent, I agree.  They want you to take care of their house for safety reasons, with the same care as they would, and available to their pets.  Clear expectations are good.  But the extreme situation is the negative.   I had one homeowner who would only approve of me leaving for a few hours a day wanting me to hang out at her house most of the time.

Sometimes, the homeowner’s expectations are quite demanding.  The work required, including the cleaning, gardening, pet care, etc. is quite extreme and is way off-balance. To work 40-50 hours a week for a house-sit without pay is not acceptable to me.  There is something about ‘providing free accommodations’ that seems to give some homeowners permission to expect a huge amount of work in exchange for the time there.  Sometimes, homeowners ask you to pay rent  and/or the utilities as well.  I am providing a service and in exchange they’re giving me a place to stay, paying means renting in my book.

Then there was the beauty of seeing these graceful animals each day at one of my house-sits.

My experience in a negative situation: 

Massage anyone? Stanley, the female cat, who has the Pink Panther strut.

When I have gotten into a house-sitting situation only to discover the full extent of the situation, I will follow through on my commitment, otherwise I would feel badly backing out at the last-minute.  I will only back out in a true emergency, otherwise I make the best of it.  I will clean the way they want me to, even if I feel it isn’t necessary (many obsessive compulsive cleaners out there).  I will spoil their animals (although that one is easy for me to do, since I love animals).  I will take care of their property as they would even if it is overboard/obsessive.  But, in these situations, it is hard to feel comfortable when the homeowners are overly concerned, not trusting, and controlling…but in the end, it’s an experience, and it is only temporary.

Polly, a caretaker.

My lessons learned:

When I am participating in the interview process, I realized that I am interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing me.  I look back on some of the emails and conversations and there were signs that I was heading into a situation that wasn’t a good match for me – with my personality, (of integrity, clean and tidy, respectful, but laid-back simultaneously).  I don’t want to feel as though I have to continually (beyond reason) prove my worth, how I am caring for their property and animals, etc.  Long-term situations can become tedious and stressful in these cases.

I have learned that I will only take a house/pet-sit if it resonates with me, and not take it because I don’t have anything else lined up.  Something will always open up for me, even if means taking advantage of friend’s offers to come stay with them until I do get something.  When I have taken it, in fear, then it was not as positive of an experience as it could have been.

Taking both the positive and negatives into consideration, house-sitting has been a great experience and continues to offer me opportunities to travel which I am grateful for.

Pumpkin, who was in need of love and attention...and, I was happy to give it to her.

Smokey, once a feral cat, now lives a wonderful life, but has issues. It was such a joy when she warmed up to me, knowing how much it took for her to trust.

HOUSE-SITTING AS A MEANS TO TRAVEL

I fell into house-sitting (and pet-sitting) which allows me to travel a few years ago.  Originally, after leaving my 20 year career as a teacher of the Deaf, I wanted no part in any kind of responsibility.  I was burnout and wanted to feel the freedom of not being responsible or accountable to anyone else.  I had friends who had done it, and ended up in wonderful places, with amazing views, at a perfect time in their lives when they needed a place to stay.  When they heard about my ‘sabbatical’ and living life on the road, which was costly, they suggested it.  I wasn’t ready, and found other ways to live as a nomad.

After some time, I received opportunities to house-sit for friends.  That felt different, and I jumped at the chance to house-sit on the Big Island of Hawaii for my friend, Rick.  Recognizing the benefit of this, I started to investigate how to do it for others…via the internet, on house-sitting websites.

Big Island of Hawaii. My house-sit was just a short walk from the coast.

The concept is that the house-sitters post their profile and available times on the website.  The house owners post their needs, available times, etc.  And, through a process of emailing, connecting, references, etc. a homeowner chooses a house-sitter that seems like a good match.  I have learned though, that it is key for  the house-sitter to attend to their own needs/desires, making sure that it is a good match for them as well.  Otherwise, it usually doesn’t end up to be a positive experience.

There are a few good websites that I use, and some I have tried that weren’t successful for me, but it doesn’t mean they haven’t been for others.  The ones that I presently use are:  housecarers.com and mindmyhouse.com.  I have tried Caretakers Gazette, HouseSitMexico and HouseSitAmerica, but they were not giving me results that I wanted, which was about 2 years ago.  Things may have changed so I wouldn’t rule them out.  The Caretaker’s Gazette has many more care-taking positions and that wasn’t what I was seeking.  I receive daily email updates from the sites where I am a member and it is an easy way to keep track of new possibilities.

House/pet-sit in May, Idaho

Most websites allow you to browse the house-sits available.  Once you find something and want to contact a homeowner you must pay the membership fee.  It is also beneficial (and recommended) to set up a profile which will be sent along with your inquiry.  It helps the homeowners sift through the many applicants.  I tend to add a résumé and reference information along with the first inquiry, hoping that it will make it easier for them to choose me as a possibility.

I tend to pick longer term positions because I like to stay in one place for 3 months or so. It saves me on travel costs, and it also gives me time to make connections, explore and be a part of the community and culture.  Shorter house-sits are also available, and it can even be a means of having accommodations on a week-long vacation – always a good option.  Most house-sits, especially short-term have pet care needs, but, that is not always the case.

After my house-sitting on the Big Island, I landed a house-sit on Vieques Island, Puerto Rico through housecarers.com.  While there, I did two other house/pet sits when the original one ended.  All three of the homeowners requested my house-sitting services again, but it hasn’t worked out yet.

The Northend is a charming neighborhood in Boise, Idaho (US).

Through the same website, I got my next sit in the mountains of Idaho and in Boise.  This became a long-term situation, a bit complicated, but travel was still included, despite staying in Idaho.  And, this was a paid house/pet sit, which was a plus.  Many sits are not, but this one is due to the remoteness of one of the homes, amount of animals, and time of year.

Most house/pet sits do not give a salary/stipend generally.  Since this is the case, my view is that the cost of living in their house including utilities is my salary for the service I give.  I will not accept positions that ask me to pay for house expenses, especially not the rent.  There are some homeowners who feel as though they are giving you a free place to stay, therefore you should pay something…for me that is renting not house-sitting.

House-sitting has opened up travel for me when I have financial concerns.  If you are looking for a way to travel on a budget, house and pet sitting is an option to consider.

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